Fallen Leaves of Autumn!

I know the person since she was in the cradle, I know her very well, she is a younger version of me. And now these words are pouring from an experienced mouth, from the heart of a matured self.
The moment I smiled staring at you, this heart became yours, the moment you caressed me with your spirituous fingers, my heart became yours. I’ve never known anyone to love me quite the way I do to you and I tell you at length that I’m just forever addicted, forever drowning in the ocean of love, the ineluctable love for my ‘past’.
But why such a love for Past? It Leads me to unarchive memories of her, for whom this addictive love was meant. Her thoughts were like the opium, so dope acted as the poem of love, delivering a letter of lazy sunlight morning, knocking down the mind, because that sunlight is playing hide and seek in the banister of the roof(heart), the light glimmering on the banisters with a firefly’s mirth, recollecting those memories again. However, in this sweet sunlight, my urge to find spring pops up (i.e those happy moments of life, even though it’s not spring).
This version of her has become my heart’s most desired breeze that gently blows through the bristling leaves of warmth; desires of a careless half-leaf, filled with romantic mischiefs, only mischiefs. But somehow, in the dusty corridor of my soul, night closes upon the window seal, and the mind understands everything.
Thus the fallen leaves of autumn have drugged me today towards a new love, love for ‘present’ and an affinity towards a mind.And here’s the point that I’ve made, story of the soul seeking its kin, to save what’s dying within.

Buffering litmus test

I assure you that I’ll abduct your emotions 👁️👁️

Holaaa! ohh I must not be this excited or what?? I know but I’m helpless, this is something in my blood these days idk outta what reasons…so calm down okayyy! Focus prakriti! This is not just a random email to yourself you’re gonna post it okay, stay mindful and my readers bring in all of your perseverance to read this lengthy though heartfelt write-up 🙃

So yessss,they said blogging is the new internet staple but I never agreed coz although ik that I’m talkative and a bonhomie and even a bit frantic as well (ughh must not have said this for a good impression, moron!) but that doesn’t mean that I’d ever get a thought of writing anything as that of a blog or any short write-up and I never tried to but then again why am I here right? Maybe its some random zist to give my louche personality a gradual advent (haha no, I’ve just found a way to speak to my own self…nice na kyuki bhai sunta kaun h aajkal?😬)

Lord! I guess my bad angel is trying to convince me to jot all this down but anyways I’ve a rudimental ques that what state of mind is usual or ordinary or normal. Lol I sound so stupid right? But I’m pretty sure you won’t have a perfect answer to it.
So I simply gave it a try, I mean is that normal when your day begins with a sip of tea and you realize that now the day’s gonna be a cake walk?
Or will that be normal when you don’t have that daily staple morning tea and still you don’t take it to be stressful…(hmm may be that’s more abnormal 🌝)

Or will you consider it normal when you don’t have to worry about any deadlines or when this thought of running up with deadlines becomes ephemeral for you! Huhh this’ deadly thought somehow💔
But yeahh! Once I felt that a normal state of mind is that when there’s no frown on your face…no recurring thoughts about anything you did in your past, no cacophony runs through your mind when you think of a person or any deed as in, and…nothing sort of carcinogenic people or mindset around you to mock you down. Far more simply stated than it actually is ik😷
But then again a huge lot of brain teasers storm into my mind that what if just the antipodal is true for certain folk or may be that certain group of humankind don’t even think of such a hypothetical situation where they are questioned about their state of mind or personality trait or even anything relating to psychology and this is the bitter part of life that why such rhetorical queries aren’t dealt in most of the psyches.
So is me and believe me I’d never thought about myself in any of my leisure time, never thought specifically about my state of mind, never about being stable, yeah but I always compensate to this and think of somehow handling all of the fuss around me and assume that may be that can lead me to stability and peace of mind. But is it really a way out technique or I’m kinda used to overthinking.
Ughhh why did I use this term😑, this thought that I’m overthinking pushes me into that imaginative horrific scene where I’m blubbing, sobbing, shrieking and then there’s no way out, no escape nothing , just black out.
Have you ever thought of something as such, or do you run in a parallel space but your case is just the inverse! But then how do you deal with
such abnormalities?? or have you become adamant about such perceptions??
Furthermore, do you even try to share your grievance to any of your acquaintances, but then don’t you ever feel that you telling them about your instability will make them peevish? And if the next thing you’re gonna ask me is how come I know all of this, c’mon dude I’m kinda that pedantic who is somewhat trapped in her own borstal.

But whatever, I’m pretty sure that my thoughts are tidy and timid at the same time and being true to myself I’ll probably be able to lessen my anxiety, my consternation. Ohh! Enough of talking to your good angel Miss (haha lol,not so funny coz you’re crossing the word limit prakriti🙄)
So yess peeps, winding up quickly! I do have this question which keeps on reiterating and somehow it’s eating up my conscience that what exactly overthinking is?? What exactly anxiety is?? How’d one know that he/she’s suffering from some kind of anxiety? How’d one know that he/she is dealing well with it or not?? Okay wait too many ques at once…must be confusing right? Lemme make it easier for y’all, ever met people who say they can’t figure out what’s happening but they’re somehow tryin’ to stay happy and keep that constant charming smile. I know those people who have a lot…like a lotttt to say and lottts of experiences to share and lots and lots of those stuffs as well which they’re insecure about but wa-wa-wait a min…heya dude welcome to the gang, can ya feel me! 🤞🏼✨💫

I’m shaking my head right here, make it easier, let’s try and shake some mangoes or may be hands🤝🙃

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